Wine

Departing Crescent City, we headed north.  As previously mentioned, we continued passing through some remarkably beautiful country.  The road was a bit twisty, but nothing like the semi-harrowing drive across the mountains on 36, and we managed to make several stops to indulge my need to photograph.  (Really, sometimes I think the best way to do one of these trips is to walk.  Sometimes every twenty feet there’s something new, something seductively photogenic.  Not all of it comes out as well as you initially thought it would, but…)

Passing into Oregon, the road leveled out, the land flattened a bit.  Presently we came to a collection of buildings—gas station, shops, etc—called Cave Junction.  As we neared the major intersection, a sign appeared.

Bridgeview Winery  4 miles →

Donna veered off the road, onto the parking lot of the gas station/convenience store, bounded over to the new road, and headed east.

A bit of history.  Back in 2001 we did out first major west coast visit, flying into Oakland, renting a car, and driving up to Seattle, meandering along the way.  It was a marvelous, magical trip.  This current trip was partly intended to fill in some of the gaps of what we missed that time.

Anyway, after one particularly long day of driving (in Oregon) we stumbled into a hotel (somewhere) as twilight was coming on, tired and hungry.  Across the parking lot was a Marie Callendar Restaurant.  (Yes,  just like the one we stopped at in Eureka.)  Donna likes to tease me about being surprised that such a thing exists.  Unlike me, she actually read the box one of their frozen dinners came in, so she was aware that the franchise began as a chain of restaurants on the west coast.  I was surprised that first time, but no longer, but people in the midwest usually are surprised, and I like to play to that.  What did surprise me about that first experience was (a) the quality of the food and (b) their house wine was superb.  I mean, really good.

It was Bridgeview.  We’ve subsequently added Bridgeview to our list of preferred wines when we have a chance to restock our cellar (modest as it is).

So here we were rumbling down a narrow road on the way to that (we hoped) very winery, a gift of serendipity.

Of course, it wasn’t four miles straight down the road.  We turned south onto an even narrower road, and came finally to sprawling vineyards and a gate:

IMG_1887We drove into a lovely compound with a lake, wildlife, and a menagerie of impressive brass sculptures—eagles, mainly (though they lacked one thing to make their diving attack poses work to best effect: targets)—and it turned out we were the only visitors so far that day.  We did a tasting, hosted by an enthusiastic woman who checked to make sure we could still find Bridgeview in Missouri, and waxed eloquent about their new vintages.  (They now bottle a Gevurtstraminer that I think my mother would like—she prefers them sweet.)

I was a little disappointed to see that they have now gotten so big that they’re putting product in boxes.  Not that there’s anything precisely wrong with that, but…

But the sampling was excellent.  They have a fine Pinot (dark and white) and their signature cab was as good as we remember.

IMG_1889We bought a couple bottles to enjoy with our friends in Alta in a couple of days, then drove back up to the highway and continued on.

The landscape can change dramatically sometimes, but now it was a gradual shift from shady roads to higher mountain and then, finally, reaching I-5, which was pretty much near the crest of the chain.

The day was hot and although our air-conditioner functioned admirably, a few hours constant driving under cloudless skies wore on us.  Also, long sections of the highway were paved in such a way that the road noise penetrated our bones.  I could barely hear anything Donna said.  It gnawed on our nerves and by the time we got just north of Redding we were frazzled.  We paused at one more rest stop before the final leg into Redding, and there Donna made a special moment with the seabirds that came this far inland for tourist forage.  She had a bag of Doritos and conducted a gathering flock in an elegant little dance.

 

IMG_1914

We drove the rest of the way into Redding.  Between the road and the heat, we weren’t going much farther.  At the first exit with a hotel sign, we pulled off and found a Fairfield Inn squirreled away in an industrial court.  Donna wanted a room and food, the sooner the better.

I walked up to the counter and inquired about a vacancy.  “Absolutely.  We have a king.”  She looked at me.  “You aren’t a member of AARP, are you?  No, of course not.”

“I’m not, but I qualify.”

She blinked. “If you were, I could give you the senior discount. But…you aren’t even fifty, are you?”

“Fifty-eight.”

“No!”

I produced my ID.  “Well, you sure take care of yourself!  Tell you what, I’ll give it to you anyway.”

I unloaded the car quickly and asked about food.  Dill’s Deli was right across the road.  I ushered Donna into a very open space that was more cafeteria than regular dining, but it smelled good and the portions were ample.

Sitting there, however, I became aware of the signage.  Even the napkin holder at our table boasted a very pro-NRA affiliation. FOX News was on the monitors and it just felt like a somewhat right of center place, but when you’re tired and hungry, what’s the difference?  It was barbeque and it was good.

That night was the first time since we’d landed that we watched any television.  I channel-surfed and found a local show, guitarist Ed Ballantine hosting a blues pianist in discussion and some jams.  In some ways it felt like we’d experienced a good weekend all in that day.

Sacramento 2013_0139

Sacramento 2013_0136“Good night, Donna.”

 

 

“Good night, Mark.”

Giants

Sequoias, I’ve heard, are bigger.

Still.

Redwood Stand, July 2013

They almost dare you to photograph them in some unique way, as if knowing that, at least at first, you can’t help but shoot the standard-issue, clichéd image of immense stands of imposing forest.  Walking among them I didn’t feel small so much as unimportant.

That’s something of a cliché as well, but it fits.

We left the Elk River center, drove up 101 a short way, passing another beach, through mist and gray that separated where we were from anywhere else we might go.Sacramento 2013_0075

We stopped at the shore, walked between burms of sand, spent time in the non-place of fog and suggestion.  Donna took this image of me walking toward a horizon invisible and remade constantly.  Isolated as it was, the world shifted and altered.

Time to go inland, then.  Time to find the next stretch of imagination-rich landscape for our memories to feast on.  Time to move further into segments of separated repositories of quiet beauty.

People drove by as we pulled off the road, racing from nowhere to elsewhere, not stopping (how could they not stop? Look at what’s here!), leaving us—and a few others who knew the moment—to bask in the details left lying around by happenstance and million-year evolutionary exuberance.  Sure, there was a road through it, but that was its own delight.

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We didn’t hurry, but neither did we linger too long.  We had a very specific goal on this trip, something left over from the last visit to these parts.  Circumstances had forced us then to choose between the redwoods and Crater Lake.  In 2001, we chose Crater Lake.  Now we have come back to see the Other.

The Others.

We drove into the preserve on an ascending road that wrapped around the base of a rise.  Here, fog did not intrude.  Late morning, the sun speared through the canopy, picking out details in such fractal abundance the whole was all you could really see clearly.  There was parking lot at the side of a footbridge over the road leading to the trail.

In stillness that seemed only recently broken by music, the echoes of ancient rhythms twined around the enormous fingers stretched toward light and air, we walked and stopped and walked again and pointed things out to each other and walked and gaped.

Gnarls in Redwood,  b&w, July 2013

Redwood Trunk, July 2013

Redwood Bark Detail, July 2013

The trail was about a mile.  There were bugs, of course, little stinging pests, but for the most part it was one of the easiest trails I’ve ever walked.  Every turn brought something extraordinary.

We left this preserve and took a scenic byway through more of the magnificence.IMG_1838

As we drove between curtain walls of the ancient forest, we passed a family stretching out around the base of one of the bigger trees, one of their number stepping back into the road to take the picture.  Donna pulled over, suggesting I ask if they wanted someone else to take it so they could all be in it together.  I sprinted back and just as they were breaking up to return to their cars, I called out and offered.  They regrouped happily, hand in hand, against the tree and I shot pictures with two of their cameras.  (I didn’t know them, I thought it would be impertinent to take a picture for myself.)

One of them hurried to her car, telling me to wait.  She handed me a pile of silver-foiled Hershey kisses.  “That’s where we’re from,” she said, grinning.

“Hershey, Pennsylvania?”

“Yep.  Been a long drive, but boy, was it worth it.”

I couldn’t agree more.  Standing amid these epic trees, you start to feel like a giant yourself, for the simple reason that you can see them for the marvelous things they are.  For a short while they seem to lend you a bit of their grandeur.

Updates and Bothers

I received another of those pesky update notices for my blog theme.  When finished, I didn’t like it nearly as much as the one it replaced, so I’ve chosen a new theme.  This has taken more time than I liked, but there it is.

In the meantime, a cryptic image from the trip, to keep you wondering till I get around to the next post.  (Yes, those are boots and shoes atop those posts…I don’t know…)

 

Boots on Fence, July 2013

Eureka and Beyond

Staggering (almost literally) into Eureka that Monday night saved our nerves.  Oddly, we usually have one day like this on a road trip in which anxiety creeps up to a certain level (because we don’t know where we are and the directions we thought we had proved unreliable) and tension rises.  We get through it and afterward it’s as if we’ve purged all the bad joss that might otherwise infect the balance of the trip.  Such was our drive over the mountains from Platina to Eureka.

Picking a hotel because of a chain restaurant might also seem arbitrary, but part of the fun of these is to be arbitrary.  Besides, our memory of that first encounter with Marie Callender back in 2001 has remained vivid.  (Of course, we were also then pretty strained from the road, so…)

IMG_1701(That first dinner we were served a very fine Oregon wine, Bridgeview, which plays into this trip later on.  It was a surprisingly good wine for a chain.)

The room was nice enough that we considered spending another night there and using it as base from which to do exploring. Unfortunately it was already booked, so we packed up and headed north.

One of the things fascinating about this part of the country is what I call micro-climates.  Eureka is right on the coast and from the time we arrived to when we finally left it was encased in a heavy mist.  Three or four blocks inland and the sun blazed, the sky was cloudless, and the temperature went up noticeably.  We drove through these variations for the rest of the trip up the coast.

IMG_1732We turned off onto a beach, which, though public, possessed an air of isolation.  A few people already there huddled some distance from where we walked, and a single runner came by.

Moving on, we eventually turned into one of the wildlife centers to get some directions for actually getting into  the redwoods, which we seemed to be driving by but weren’t actually passing through.

Donna's #1 (California, 7-13)Obtaining a map and some directions, looking over the exhibits, and stretching our legs, we were ready to go look at the Giants we’d come to see.

Back in 2001, we had a number of goals, one of which was to hit the coast and see the redwoods.  Well, right off that’s kind of a misrepresentation—which The Redwoods?  They’re strung all along the coast in a number of preserves and national and state parks.  The one we chose was the Lady Bird Johnson National Forest, which offers a one mile trail in the midst of some spectacular woodland.  As a sample…

Donna's #3 (California, 7-13)

 

More later.

In Lieu Of

I was halfway through another piece about our road trip.  Something about winding roads and mountains.  I made a bad keystroke and lost it.  I’ll do it this weekend, after I stop fuming.  Meanwhile, something in its place.

 

Cliff Face & Bush, b&w, July 2013

 

Recent Us

A new portrait, done by Nan Kaufman, who, with her husband Peter Fuss, hosted us for a marvelous weekend of rustic peace and quiet—plus driving all over the place between Alta and Placerville.

Donna and Me, July 2013

On The Road…And Back

Few things satisfy me more than going on a trip with Donna.  In the last three decades we’ve taken some fine vacations and she is the best traveling companion I’ve found.

This one, however, contained extra pleasure.

On The Road, July 2013

On the Fourth of July we flew to Sacramento, CA, to attend Westercon 66.  I’d forgotten (if I ever really knew) that Westercon in years past had been a Big Deal.  Major regional SF convention.  It had fallen into decline, though, and this one was the first in an intended recovery.  I hope they manage it because this one was truly fine.  Even if it hadn’t been, though, it would have been great because two of our best friends, Nicola Griffith and Kelley Eskridge, were co guests of honor.  We’ve known each other since Clarion in 1988.

But wait!  There’s more!  As well, Brooks Caruthers, Jay Brazier, Kimberly Rufer-Bach, and Andy Tisbert joined us for a mini-class reunion.  One of our instructors, Kim Stanley Robinson, also showed up for a day, as did the current director of the workshop, Karen Joy Fowler.  Another Clarionite, Cliff Winig, class of ’97, attended as well.

I’ll write more about this later.  For now I just wanted to put a place marker down to note that the feelings felt and expressed were unexpectedly strong.  Donna commented that watching us it seemed our Clarion group had parted company only last month, so fast did the reconnection happen.  I’d forgotten the way in which these people mean so much to me.

After the convention, however, we leased a car and headed into the Northern California hinterlands to finish up some of what we’d missed back in 2001 when we drove from Oakland to Placerville to Eugene to Seattle.  The balance of the trip was as amazing as the beginning, in wholly different ways.  I shot over 500 photographs.  Over the next several weeks I’ll post those I deem worthwhile and tell you all a little bit about the trip.

Basically, we headed for the coast.  The first leg ended at Eureka.  We went up the coast to Crescent City, then up 199 and down the other side of the range to Redding.  We ended in Alta, for a quiet weekend with two friends who have made themselves a pocket of peacefulness atop 4000 feet of foothill.  As with all the best trips, it ended too soon.

Meanwhile, I’ll leave you with another image and the promise of more details and other photographs.  We’re back home now, chock full of memories, and glad of each other in new ways.

On The Shore, July 2013

It Was Many Years Ago…

Twenty-five years ago I arrived on the campus of Michigan State University to begin the six weeks of the Clarion Science Fiction Writers Workshop.  Donna had driven me up, along with a friend (because I didn’t want her driving back alone—which led to a small bit of confusion because while Donna was catching a nap in my dorm room, everyone else met Drea and then when Donna picked me up, there was some, as I say, confusion…) and then left me there for six weeks of the best pressure cooker experience I’d ever had.  I’ve written about it here and here.

That was a defining time for me.  It told me that I could be a writer and gave me the tools to do it.

That was a quarter century ago and soon we’re traveling to the west coast for a reunion of sorts with a handful of fellow classmates.  Some of us have done quite well.  Others…well, me, for instance…

This month marks the tenth anniversary of the release of the final Secantis Sequence novel to see publication.  June of 2003, Peace & Memory came out from Meisha Merlin.

Book Three of the Secantis Sequence, which began with Compass Reach, continued with Metal of Night, and ended—for now—with this one.

Of the three, it has my favorite cover, which is a tale in itself, done by the estimable O.B. Solinsky.  It captures a scene in the novel and evokes one of the themes as well.  I enjoyed the entire process of working with him on this and the result still makes me smile.

But as I say, that’s the last one published.  Due the vagaries and vicissitudes of the publishing industry, my “career” more or less collapsed after that.  Meisha Merlin no longer exists.

I’ve been trying to get back into the game pretty much ever since.

I did publish two more novels after this one, one a sharecropper novel that pretty much sank without a trace and Remains, which is by some miracle, still in print.  I’ve provided links for both novels.

Since 2003, I’ve been scrambling.  Mistakes were made.  I’ve been through a couple of agents.  (I am now with one of the best I’ve ever had, Jen Udden of the Donald Maass Literary Agency, and we shall do great things together.)  I’ve continued to write.  It’s easy to succumb to despair in this business.  It is so hard to get into print, harder still to stay in print, and the work can suffer from the difficulties of finances and the doubt that plagues any artist.

But as I told another artist recently, I’ve given up giving up.  I don’t know how many times I’ve quit only to wake up one morning with a great idea, and suddenly I’m hip deep in a new project.  (This one will work, this one will do it…)

I said Peace & Memory was the last Secantis novel published.  It’s not the last one.  I have a fourth one completed, Ghost Transit, and notes on another, Motion & Silence.  The sequence was always intended to continue.

So it’s been ten years.  I have every intention of not going away, of seeing the Secantis Sequence back in print and continued.  With that in mind, I have an experiment I’d like to run.  I understand the utility of the whole Kick Starter thing, but funding a project is not quite the same thing as creating a demand.  Demand is created by people talking, people asking, people wanting.  Maybe letting publishers know that something is Out Here that’s not available in print.  Not sure.  I’ll leave methodology up to the groupmind.

Meantime, in celebration of ten years, order copies if you’ve a mind.  I have a preferred venue, of course, Left Bank Books—you can get the three Secantis books through them, at least until supplies last.  (And lots of other really good books—you can order online from them, so please do, support local bookstores.)

Ten years.  And twenty-five.  Time flies when you’re working hard on something you love.

Clarion is no longer on the MSU campus, but all the way across the country in San Diego (link above).  I, however, am still in St. Louis.  Still writing.  I suspect I will be for some time.

Thank you for your support.

 

On The Extraction of Feet From Mouths

I’ve been thinking deeply about the recent eruption of controversy in SFWA over sexism.  Seems just about anywhere we look in the last several years there are examples of men behaving stupidly toward and about women.  While this is nothing new, where it has been cropping up seems surprising.

There have been several incidents, both online and out in the world, within the skeptical community.  The boys came out to try to tell the girls to get their own clubhouse and stop invading what for some reason these males had regarded as somehow the province of people with testicles.  Prominent women—skeptics, humanists, atheists, scientists—have been treated to high school-level chauvinism by males intent on…

On what?

It’s worth reading this article by Rebecca Watson, one of the most prominent women in the active skeptical world.  Some of what she has gone through seems totally bizarre, of the “what planet did this happen on” variety.  And yet, there it is.  The Thing We (people like me) Had Thought We Were Done With.  Males acting like schoolyard bullies toward women, especially women who claim themselves as individuals with minds, choices, and, apparently, interests that don’t include them.  The boys, that is.

Reading that, someone like me can feel pretty virtuous.  “I don’t think that way!  I don’t do that!  The people I hang with don’t, either, we’ve outgrown adolescence and never were that gauche!”  We might feel that way and some of us might even be justified.

But not all of us.

I’ve been a science fiction reader practically all my life.  I’ve been a professional SF writer since 1990, therefore a member of SFWA.  I have credited science fiction, my early exposure to it, as reason for my awareness of gender issues, my embrace of feminisim, and certainly my affiliation with skepticism, rationality, and—may I say it?—humanist morality.  The circles in which I move resonate with all this as well and over decades a kind of blanket of comforting isolation has settled around me that has buffered me from some of the kinds of bullshit that has evidently been there all along.

There’ve been several instances of sexism over the last few years within the science fiction community, some at an apparently low-level, others fairly significant, culminating in the current Matter At Hand over a series of articles in the SFWA Bulletin (as well as a cover painting for one issue) and the responses prompted concerning them.

Disclaimer:  I tend to ignore the Bulletin anymore.  A lot of the information contained therein is wonderful for beginning writers or those just starting up the ladder of their careers.  Occasionally there’s something technical in an issue worth reading.  But really, it comes because I pay my dues and I go through the Market Report.  Therefore, I had to go find the issues at the center of the storm, dig them out of the pile, and read the pieces in question.

Which means that I absorbed them somewhat in isolation.

Nevertheless, to my complete embarrassment and shame, I misread what was supposed to be the problem.  Then I compounded that failure by defending them.

Not full-faced “what the hell is wrong with you people” defend, just…

The offending articles were two in the long-running series of dialogues by Mike Resnick and Barry Malzberg about the history of the genre.  These are, for those of you who do not get the Bulletin and don’t know, done as conversations, two guys who’ve been around for a long time, yacking about the Old Days and who wrote what, published where, said that, or did this.  They are framed as personal reminiscence.

Which to my mind is a somewhat different context than a straightforward article about, say, copyright law or manuscript formatting or how to write a cover letter.  It’s a different kind of work and therefore has different parameters.  Like memoir, what the author (or authors) get to talk about and how they talk about it gets more leeway.  Constraints are not as tight, subject and content are more flexible.  To my mind.

So therefore when I read a couple of paragraphs in one of these about a particular editor who was evidently “drop dead gorgeous” and “looked great in a bikini” I thought nothing, or at least very little, of it.  It’s not the same as if it had been a straight up piece about how to submit a story to said editor and had included the aside, “and by the way, when submitting to her, keep in mind she’s a babe!”  Had such a sentence been in such an article, my hair would have stood on end and electric cascades would have run up and down my spine.  What the hell does that have to do with the professional relationship detailed in the article?  And it’s true, that if the article had been talking about a male editor, you would likely never see an equivalent remark “And by the way, when submitting to this guy, remember he has a hell of a package!”

Had you read such a remark, we should all know (if it needs explaining, as it apparently does) that the difference is that in the case of the man it is an irrelevancy but for the woman it is a threat.

More clarity?  While a man might view his “package” as an essential aspect of his identity, society at large does not.  The same cannot be said about a woman and her physical attributes.  Therefore, the inclusion of such a comment about a woman is automatically limiting and de facto sexist.  Because the writer has decided that this is the important fact about this woman and while he (or she) may not intend it to be limiting, there is a whole file cabinet of associated conclusions attached to such a description that gets opened once the statement is made.

Is this a bad thing, you ask?

Well.  As has been pointed out by some over this, good or bad, it is problematic.  Because the message has connotative force in the negative.  Because, unfortunately, for too many people, “looks great in a bikini” is the beginning and end of any worthwhile description.  All else becomes secondary.  Tertiary.  Immaterial.  Distracting.

Welcome to Gor.

My mistake was in not recognizing this essential fact.  That intent doesn’t matter when there is ample information that such a phrase will be taken as a threat by a great many people.*

Resnick and Malzberg also consistently qualified who they were talking about.  “Lady writers” and “lady editors.”  Again, my context filters were on.  I thought, that’s who these guys are, they’re from a generation that would consider that a polite cognomen, what’s the big deal?  Forgetting, as I read, how qualifiers play into limiting people not of the majority culture in, say, ethnicity.  The main subject of the two articles was “Women In Science Fiction”—why the continued use of a label which served only to underscore a “specialness” that is not necessarily positive in the context of professional circles?  While the substance of what they had to say was overwhelmingly laudatory (Alice Sheldon was held up to be as good as Alfred Bester and at no point did a phrase like “well, she was really good for a woman” appear) that continual qualifier became a kind of apology.  In the context of a reminiscence, it was indicative of the character of the two authors—quaint, a “cute” term—but outside that context, it is like continually using the term “black writer” in a piece about African American Writers.  We already know the people being discussed are black, the only reason to continually use the qualifier is to make a point of difference.  Do it enough, the difference becomes the only relevant factor.

I missed all this and shrugged it off.

The other article was, in fact, a How To piece, in which Barbie was held forth as a model for professional behavior.  Now, I can see how the author thought this was tongue-in-cheek, a clever, satirical way to make a point, but…

The only excuse for this is carelessness.

Well, maybe not the only excuse.  Intentional, programmatic sexism is certainly possible.

Barbie cannot be a model for any kind of self-aware, in control, self-directed person.  Other People have always determined, right down to the color of plastic used, what Barbie is, will be, or can be, and this point should have been obvious.  The use of a toy in a prescriptive article, aimed at women, can only be…well, problematic.

Two things here.  The first is, I’m disappointed.  Science fiction has been for me a font of enlightenment.  I don’t mean by that “everything I know about living I got from science fiction.”  What I mean is, that many of the foundational ideas I consider important in my life first came to me from science fiction.  I had to flesh them out later, from other sources, but something as basic as gender equality first penetrated my adolescent brain from reading science fiction.  So for this to have occurred in the field which gave me my earliest intellectual nurture is profoundly distressing.  It’s almost like hearing someway say “Oh, I just say all that shit in my novels, I don’t actually believe any of it!”

And, no, I am not saying that Resnick and Malzberg are themselves chauvinists.  I suspect they’re shocked and dismayed both by the reaction to what they wrote and hurt by the suggestion that they are sexists.  But they dropped the ball in understanding the context in which they wrote.  (They compounded it by crying fowl and bleating about censorship.  No one called for censorship.  If anything, a call was made for more awareness.)

The president of SFWA made a statement about all this which I think is worth reading.  Furthermore, the editor of the Bulletin has stepped down.

I said two things.  I put my foot in my mouth over this because I also failed to see how things have evolved and how they have played out in the last 40 years.  I imagined that we might reach a time when men and women might be able to recognize and appreciate each others’ sexuality without such recognition in any way acting as threat or limitation.  Because a woman is beautiful (or a man handsome) does not mean she is obligated to be that for the fantasy edification of people she doesn’t know or should be constrained by that fact because others can’t see past the surface.  For many people, physicality is destiny.  Or fate.  And often, when people in possession of certain physical traits act in ways that don’t fit  those fantasy preconceptions, there is a kind of breaking that occurs which is profoundly tragic in that such preconceptions should never have been put in place to begin with.  Limitation goes both ways.  If all you can see is the great bod, the perfect smile, and the lush hair, I feel sorry for you—you’re missing a whole world.

Men don’t see this as a problem, though, and that’s why it’s such a big deal.  Men have never been barred from being anything else they want to be by their looks.  At least, not as far as the larger culture is concerned.  A man is good looking, well, that’s just one more thing in the plus column, lucky bastard!

Women have different experiences with that.

Many men will still not get it.  (No doubt a lot of women, too, though for different reasons.)  What they will see is another demand that we stop enjoying women.  That we must ignore their physicality, their sexuality.  That we must turn our libidos off.  They will see this as another call that we stop being “men.”  That’s not it at all.

Treat women as People first.  Not female People.  People.  It seems so simple, that.  And yet…

Part of the problem in all this is the lack of grasp exhibited by otherwise bright people.  You have to ask yourself, what makes you think that the kind of stuff you’re likely to hear in a bar made suitable copy for a professional journal?  When you insert a sexualized comment in an article about professional people in a given field, you really aren’t talking about them, you’re talking about yourself.

Anyway, I still have a couple of toes to extract, so I’m done talking for now.

One last thing: You’re never too old to screw up, but you’re also never too old to learn from it.

 

_________________________________________________

* Threat?  What threat? I hear some think.  The threat that nothing one does matters if one doesn’t fuck.  That no matter what accomplishments a woman may have, if she’s not also someone interested in, willing, and able to get sweaty with a male who thinks it’s his right and her privilege, then she’s not worth considering.  That any female who seems to think she can be her own Self without this aspect is delusional and that self-selected male has not only the right but the obligation to “show her what she’s missing.”  Basically, we’re talking about rape, implied and actualized, because what matters is the sex.  To be sure, something of this attaches to men as well, but without the element of coercion, which renders it wholly different.  Consider for a moment the most basic difference in attitude regarding “conquests.”  Men who seem to have sex with numerous women acquire, with a few exceptions, a patina of glamor, respect, and envy, while women who engage in a similar lifestyle receive a very different designation and concomitant image and with few exceptions is generally negative.  Furthermore, for men, it is simply one more aspect of their overall image, but for women it almost wholly subsumes anything else about them.  If the boys want the women to stop pointing out their sexism, this will have to change, and the fact that it’s still the case means we have yet to achieve the kind of gender equity men like me thought we were on our way to achieving.